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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is my 2nd mother's day and it has been really wonderful. On Thursday night the 4 of us piled in the Edge and drove to Trenton, Missouri to spend the weekend with Grandpa and Grandma D and Ron and Maria Cochran. Ron and Maria are dear friends from Colorado who flew out here to visit for a few days. We have had so much fun....going to the river, playing badminton in the back yard, riding on scooters and playing with hula hoops, dancing to Kidz Bop 21, and many other fun activities. The boys have had a wonderful time spending time with everyone.

Amidst all the fun, however, my heart goes out to those "moms at heart" who don't have children to hold yet. This morning at church, all the mothers were asked to come to the front of the sanctuary so we could be honored. As I stood up there, I was noticing the women who weren't standing up with us and my heart went out to them. I don't know, maybe those that weren't standing up there were perfectly happy to not have children, but I know there are many who have a child-sized hole in their heart that they desperately want to fill. Despite this being my 2nd mother's day, I still remember the anguish that I felt every mother's day.

This weekend I have also been thinking about our boys' Ethiopian mom, who is in heaven. I don't know any details of her death, so I've been wondering if she had a long illness and knew when the end was near or if one night she just went to sleep and never woke up, not knowing that she would be leaving her family behind. Knowing that she died of malaria, though, my guess is that the first scenario is most likely. I have been wondering if she took those last days to tell the boys that she loved them, to be brave, that she would see them again someday in heaven or did she just keep all her thoughts to herself not wanting to face her mortality? I wonder if she had any idea that one day a woman halfway across the world would raise her children as her own and whom the boys would call "Mommy." As I watched the boys dancing to Kidz Bop, I wondered if she got to enjoy seeing the boys be silly and dance to some Ethiopian music that was being played nearby or if she got to see that for the first time from heaven. I wondered what her favorite things were about the boys...was it Jeremiah's sweet smile or Simon's silly faces? Was it Jeremiah's athleticism Simon's dancing ability? Was it when they both wanted to sit on her lap and hear stories?

I guess this holiday will always be kind of bittersweet for me as I think of all the different kinds of moms out there....the moms who gave birth to their children and raised them, the moms who gave birth to their children and knew that they would have a better life with someone else so put them up for adoption, the moms who take care of children in the foster care system, the moms who adopt children, step-moms who love their spouse's children as her own, the moms who didn't raise the children, but were good role models, loved them, showed them the right path to take in life, and the moms who don't have their own children yet, but are still mommies at heart. May the Lord bless ALL of those mommies today and every day.

Today I Kissed an Angel

Today I kissed an angel. I knew it from the start. The first time my angel smiled at me; I gave away my heart.

Today I kissed an angel; This angel child of mine. Though not of my creation, My child by God's design.

Today I kissed an angel. My heart is dancing wild; Our family, by a miracle; Blessed by our angel child.

All I Really Want by Steven Curtis Chapman