Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day. A time where dads everywhere get honored for being the best dads they can be. I love Father's Day because I was blessed to have an excellent father, I'm married to an excellent father, and both of my grandpas were excellent fathers. I love honoring them because they deserve it.

However, this holiday also brings feelings of sadness at our house. Yesterday we went to my brother's house to celebrate my nephew's birthday and on the way home, Simon very innocently asked when I was going to turn brown like them. That brought on a conversation of how God made people different colors and we can't change the color of our skin, etc. During this conversation Jeremiah was silent, and I had a feeling he was thinking about his first mom and dad and how they were brown like him.

After prayers last night, Jeremiah was still being pensive so I asked him what was wrong. He buried his head in my lap and said, "I'm sad." Even though I pretty much knew what he was sad about, I asked him why he was sad. He said, "I miss Jembula."

Jembula...the boys' birth dad
Jembula....the name that I haven't shared with very many people. Jembula....the name that brings so many raw emotions. Jembula....the name that almost makes me cry every time I say it...because we love him with all our hearts.

I love that Jeremiah still has memories of him (Simon doesn't seem to have any) but it is HARD. Tears were shed by both of us. How do I explain to a child that I LOVE that he is my son but HATE the reason it happened. How do I reassure him that it won't happen again? How do I explain that MY dreams came true because he was ripped away from everyone and everything he knew, from the land where he was meant to live, and brought halfway around the world to live with strangers who don't look like him, to a country that is completely different, and where they hear everyone say how "lucky" they are to be in our family.

The fact is we live in a fallen world. I wish that sin hadn't happened in the Garden of Eden so everyone who wanted to have babies COULD have babies and those families would be able to stay together forever in their original place of birth. Nobody would have to make the decision to watch their children starve or give them up for adoption. Everyone would have plenty of food and a way to provide for their family so they could stay together forever. Sadly, we don't live in that world and families won't always be able to stay together and couples that would love to have biological children won't always be able to, and until our good Lord comes back, adoption will still be necessary. Adoption is beautiful, but it in a perfect world, it wouldn't be necessary.

So, on this Father's Day, we rejoice in the fathers that we get to see, who are there for the day to day events, who give their all to be the best dad they can be. But we also grieve for fathers like Jembula who don't get to watch his kids grow up except in pictures. Fathers like Jembula who don't get to see Simon's personality shine through and Jeremiah's brilliant mind figuring things out. Fathers like Jembula who loved his kids so much that he let 2 strangers care for them when he couldn't. We love you Jembula and honor you on this Father's Day as well. Thank you for entrusting your boys to us. I hope we can meet the expectations you have for us.

Daddy and boys playing with an erector set

Boys' new bikes

Sweet boys

Balancing bandaid boxes on their heads


Shooting Star

Our little family

Cheesy grins...LOVE THEM!

Father's Day morning


  1. yes, yes, yes... I struggle with those same things, every single day. So in love with my beautiful children; so sad that my joy came with such a terrible price for others.

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Today I Kissed an Angel

Today I kissed an angel. I knew it from the start. The first time my angel smiled at me; I gave away my heart.

Today I kissed an angel; This angel child of mine. Though not of my creation, My child by God's design.

Today I kissed an angel. My heart is dancing wild; Our family, by a miracle; Blessed by our angel child.

All I Really Want by Steven Curtis Chapman